Question: How do I tell my boyfriend that his junk is too hairy?
Is the sight of a wizard’s beard surrounding your partner’s penis a turn-off? For your generation, this is a common complaint.
But approaching the topic of grooming pubic hair is a sensitive one. Repeated comments on how much you love the feeling of a Sphinx cat or making shearing noises every time he takes off his underwear are only displays of passive aggression. There are plenty of ways to be sensitive, yet assertive, in your approach.
However, before mentioning your displeasure with his pubic hair, I would first challenge you to explore your negative reaction to the site of his man fur. After all, there are reasons why humans are relatively hairless except in the genital region. According to some evolutionary theories, pubic hair may serve as added protection for penises and vulvas; the sight of pubic hair may be a visual indicator of fertility; or the hair may be able to trap pheromone secretions to attract mates solely by scent.
But younger generations are moving away from the appeal of the “70s bush” and embracing a well-trimmed, if not completely shaven, pubic area. This has been criticized on multiple levels, including the trend is infantilizing sexuality and perpetuating unrelenting, unrealistic, and unnatural standards of beauty. Therefore, you mustn’t blindly adhere to the fashion of the times. Instead, ask yourself why you would prefer your boyfriend to do some massive manscaping.
Are you concerned that after sex your bed sheets will look like the floor of a barber shop? Do you fear suffocating if giving him oral sex? Are you worried that a lice colony has established territory and is hiding in the shade of his mound only to attack you at the onset of sex?
I’m exaggerating, of course. But really do examine the thoughts that accompany seeing your partner’s pubic hair. Maybe comparing it to your thoughts about your partner having a beard would be a good analogy. Is the feel of his beard uncomfortable to you? Would you desire to see more of his face? Do you dislike the smell of his beard after he eats sloppy joes? Would you prefer that he not look like a cult leader?
All of these questions can also apply to his pubic hair. And depending on what is most displeasing to you is how you can directly, but sensitively, approach the topic with your partner.
There’s a big difference between saying, “Your pubes are gross” and “You know, honey, I would love to be able to see more of your penis. What are your thoughts on trimming some of your pubic hair?” Additionally, there are profound distinctions between saying, “Giving you a blowjob is like making out with a sasquatch” and “I think it would be a huge turn on for me to feel more of your skin when I go down on you. Would you mind trimming or shaving a little?”
But remember, just as you have the ultimate right and control over your own body, including how you groom your pubic hair, he also has the right of final veto regarding the look of his genitalia. He is the one that has to put in the time to trim or shave, as well as the potential discomfort during regrowth. But more than likely, if your approach is direct and sensitive, he will respond in a favorable manner to look more like the non-yeti version of a boyfriend you so desire.